SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE IN MY APARTMENT
“Don't knock it until you smell it.” -Cosmopolitan
This weekend, Goop released a candle called This Smells Like My Vagina and the internet literally could not. Everyone (including my mother) seemed to agree that this was insane. Who would pay $75 for a candle that smelled like the Politician star’s vag? The answer = me.
Well, I wanted to buy it, at least, but by the time I checked out the site, the candle was already sold out. So, yeah, I guess a whole lot of other people were interested in smelling it too. And before you haters tell me to get the “Goop” out of here (sorry), allow me to explain my infatuation with it: If you actually read the description of the candle on Goop’s site (instead of something you saw floating around on Twitter with zero credibility), you would see that nowhere does it say this candle smells like Gwynny’s vajayjay.
The scent was actually created with award-winning perfumer Douglas Litte, so you know it’s legit. According to the description, the candle-making process involved Gwyneth and Douglas sitting on the floor and geeking out over fragrance, and nowhere does it say the scent was developed after Douglas stuck his nose in Gwynny’s vag (that would be wrong on so many levels...and sorry for the visual).
Instead, the candle is called This Smells Like My Vagina. It has accents of geranium, citrusy bergamot, cedar, damask rose, and ambrette seed, which sounds absolutely lovely. Sure, it’s not exactly what a vagina smells like (vaginas just smell like vagina, and that’s not a bad thing), but as for a candle smell? V yummy.
While this Candlegate might feel like an ill-timed April Fools’ joke, it’s also meant to be funny. In the product description, it literally says the scent is first “funny” and then “gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected.”
Listen, the candle is kind of amazing regardless of whether it actually smells like vaginé (which, for the record, it doesn’t). But the point is not to shame women into thinking their vaginas should smell like literal flowers. Instead, it’s celebrating the vag for the sexy flower it is.